Chore Day!

Chore day is every Saturday at my house. This is nothing new to the members of this house and yet every time it rears it's ugly head someone has to say "again" or "why do we have to do chores". When I was a child I would wake up on Saturday morning with a pan to watch all my fave cartoons and it was always ruined by a rather long list of chores I had to do before the TV could go on.
Now I as an adult I see why my mother made me do all those chores, it was to teach me responsibility. And boy did I learn just that. I learned that I cannot just get everything I wanted I had to work for them. We didn't have a lot of money and I have a big family so my reward for my efforts was mostly candy or a treat of some sort and more family time or play time outside.
I want my kids to learn the same values so that is why I am enlisting them to do chores on Saturday's but it would be really nice if for once it didn't become this knock-down, drag-out battle EVERY Saturday. I don't give my kids nearly as many chores as I got when I was their age and I give them money for doing them. Not much but enough for them to be able to save up for something they would like. The younger ones are content with picking out an item from the local dollar store.
The younger ones do not fight me as much with doing their chores because generally their chores aren't as hard as the ones the older child gets. And this is where the problem comes in...
She wants me to buy all these name-brand clothes for her, jewelry, shoes, hair stuff, and make-up and yet she doesn't think she should have to work for it (typical teenager). But I want to instill the same values in my children that my parents instilled in me. Is it just me or does anyone else find this to be a challenge in this day and age?

Now I am going to add to this post later about how I handle the chore situation and some helpful tips and hints for other parents who might struggle in this area but first I want to hear from you.

What do you do to get your kids to do chores?
Do you pay them or not?
What are some chores that you have your kids do (specify age of the child doing the chore too)?

Is your New Year's Resolution realistic AND attainable?

Is your New Year's Resolution realistic AND attainable?

By: Anna Hofmann

December 30, 2013

New Year's Eve is tomorrow. Do you have your resolution figured out?

The top resolutions usually consist of quit drinking/doing drugs/smoking or some other bad habit, getting fit/eating right/working out/losing weight, saving money, or spending more time with the family. Of the population only 10% of people actually complete their resolutions successfully. That's a very small number!

So begs the question: is your goal realistic AND attainable? A New Year's Resolution should be a positive thing but in most cases it turns out to be a negative thing because people simply aren't motivated in the way they need to be to get the job done. 

Most people start off really well but they set the bar so high that they wind up failing. If you want to have these as your goals you need to start small with little goals that are easy to attain to build up confidence. It's all about Psychology! 

1. Getting Fit and Healthy

You don’t need to start off spending all your money on gym memberships and workout equipment for at home. Make a list of things you want to accomplish and then set time limits as to when you want to complete these goals.  My goal was to get fit one year and I started off really good. I started off strong and started doing Jillian Michaels workout video's everyday, one mile walk, and started cutting the bad foods out of my diet. Then I moved on to P90X workouts everyday, 3 mile walks, sometimes 20 mile bike rides too, and all organic foods within one month from starting my workouts. I was burning anywhere from 2,000 calories a day on up. After 3 months of doing this, my house was starting to get messy, my kids were starving for my attention, and I was getting burned out. I wasn't seeing the results I thought I should have and got really discouraged. I failed because I didn't pace myself and I didn't write down my goals and milestones. The most important key to achieving your goals is to WRITE THEM DOWN! Don't type it up on your computer and file it away in some folder, take out a pen and paper and write it down. Seriously there are studies that show if you write down your goals you are more likely to remember them and accomplish them.

So here are some suggestions (I'm going to try them myself):

• First Month 
• Diet: Start by changing your diet slowly. Instead of going for the bag of chips for a snack eat a Banana first and then the chips. My Chiropractor always told me to eat the food God gave us before the foods man made us. And start by cutting back on the sweets. When I was trying to get healthy going grocery shopping was torture. So I started making a list of the things I needed before I went to the store and tried to stick to my list. When I would walk by the candy or sweets in the store I would say in my head over and over "I don't want it and I don't need it". I know it sounds crazy but it did work.
• Fitness: Start out simple. Go for a 30 minute walk (or one mile) every day and don't forget to take the dog with you. Chances are they could use some extra exercise too. While walking don't focus on what you see ahead of you. It can become monotonous and then you won’t be able to enjoy it. Check out your surroundings and look at the houses you see, the cars, the lighting. Make a game of it and pretend that you are a photographer trying to find the best landscape pictures and as you walk around try to find the best situations where you could find some good pictures. And heck if you have your phone with you snap a few pictures to show friends and family.
• Support: It is also important that you have support from friends and family. Get your spouse or significant other to do it with you. If you don't have one of those get a good friend, Aunt or Uncle, Mom or Dad, or any other person you can think of. It helps when you have someone there to work through it together. And I know it sucks but get your weight and measurements before you start your program just so you will know where you came from once you reach your goals.

• Second Month
• Diet: Continue cutting back on the bad foods and start exploring new recipes that have healthier choices. For example, instead of using noodles for your spaghetti try substituting with spaghetti squash instead. And get smart on reading the labels of the foods you are buying. There are many articles you can read on this subject at NaturalNews.com.
• Fitness: Bump up your walks to 45 minutes and add arms (swing your arms more).
• Third Month
• Diet: Continue educating yourself on foods, Organic gardening, and non-GMO foods. Start buying a few of these items and try them (it really doesn’t taste like cardboard, I promise).
• Fitness: Now that your heart is getting used to the exercises you can add in 5 daily stretches for your body and bump up walking to 3 miles (or an hour).
• 3-6 Months
• Diet: By now you should have a pretty steady diet of healthier choices. But since you are now going to be working out and stimulating your muscles with weights you will need some more protein. Try making some protein shake/smoothies. There are many good recipes online. I recommend you stay away from the so-called health stores when purchasing your protein for your shakes. I recommend this brand: Pure Encapsulations® IsoProtein.
• Fitness: Now is the time to get your Gym membership. There are many options that are cheap you just need to find one that you are comfortable with and is within your budget. Continue walking and stretching but add in 2-3 days a week of weight lifting. Just complete the circuit of weights and do the recommended reps and sets of whatever is recommended for your body type. In most cases when you sign up they will walk you through the gym and show you how to properly use the machines and what is the best weight you should start with.
• Support: Meet with your support team and see how they are doing and tell them your story. It is now time for a weigh-in as well. Try to stick to weigh-in’s every three months. That was one thing for me that was the toughest, I would weigh myself each week and if I didn’t see results I would get discouraged. So if that is you then stop making that a focal point to your goals and weigh yourself less.
• 6-9 Months
• Diet: By now you are a pro at eating. Don’t forget to give yourself a day off once a week to reward your good behavior.
• Fitness: Now is the time to start checking out what your Gym has to offer for you. For example, try a Spin class or Zumba class.
• 9-12 Months
• Diet: This gets us to the Holiday’s where we go crazy with the sweets. Try to stick to your diet and just make the day of Thanksgiving or Christmas your “day off”.  And because not everyone practices the same eating habits as you, offer to make a dish or two to bring along. That way you know that you will have at least one or two things that are healthy to choose from.
• Fitness: By now this routine should be a piece of cake and has become habitual so it may be time to have a different goal. Sign up for a 5K run, half marathon, tri-athlon, Tough Mudder™, or some other local sporting event like Slow-Pitch Softball or a Volleyball league. The point is that you don’t have to kill yourself working out all the time as long as you are eating right. Staying active and a healthy diet are the best ways to keep fat away.
• Support: Well it’s time to see how far you have come in your year-long journey. If it’s not what you expected try kicking it up a notch next year or if it’s more than you expected your doing great and can probably continue on the path you are in.

2. Quitting your bad habit

Let’s face it this one is tough! In most cases people will tell you to slowly cut back and while yes that can work for some people it doesn’t for others. First you need to decide what type relates to you. Do you smoke/drink/do drugs in a social setting? Do you do it because of boredom or is it simply a habit?

If it is a social thing I suggest quitting cold-turkey. However, simply stopping won’t do the trick you also need to stay away from the environments that made you smoke. I used to smoke and when I decided it was time for me to stop I quit cold turkey. I was a social smoker and for me I would smoke at the bars, at friend’s houses, and in my car. I also hated smoking outside when it got cold. So I waited for winter and decided now is the time. I stopped smoking and L also stopped hanging around my friends that smoked for a while, stopped going to bars, and get the smell out of my car. It took a while for the withdrawals to stop but I got through it unscathed and learned that I felt better, my lungs were clearing up, and, most importantly, I smelled better.

Now if you are a habitual smoker, drinker, or drug user I would suggest you seek professional help like a rehab center, AA, or a doctor. But if you are a smoker or drinker there are alternatives to seeking medical help right away. Try replacing the cigarette with an e-cig there are many brands to choose from that can wean you off of the nicotine and if you’re a drinker you can always try substituting with other drinks or add water to your drink/beer to change the flavor of it (hopefully it won’t taste as good and you will lose your interest in drinking). Drug users are generally more tricky and seeking a rehab center is best because they have support groups there and they can ensure that you are educated and aware of your trigger events so that you can change things around before you revert back, the same can be said for AA.

3. Spending more time with family

What can I say about this one other than DO IT! If you truly want to spend more time as a family then just do it. No more excuses! Start off by having a family dinner twice a week and make a rule that absolutely no electronic devices are allowed at the table so you can spend quality time together. At our dinner table we play a game called Best and Worst. One person starts by picking a member of the family at the table and asks them the best part of their day and then the worst part of their day when they are done telling their tales they pick another person at the table to ask. You really do get to learn more about your kids by letting them talk uninterrupted and it makes them feel like you are listening and that you care and love them, this is an important part of their adolescence to feel like they are heard from their parents.

There are other ways to spend time together go to the park, camping, hiking, tour attractions in the city you live in, go on a mini-cation to your local hotel (make sure it has a pool), try a new craft, there are many things to do. There are also so many different resources available to you to find new things to do Pinterest, Blogs, internet sites, etc. I did an internet search for family fun activities and got over 114 million hits so there are no excuses when it comes to what to do as a family.

4. Saving Money/Getting out of Debt

There are many ways to save money. It can be saving money on your shopping trip and putting extra money away for a rainy day. Here are some tips for savings money:

·       Saving on Shopping: There are many ways to save money while shopping. When you go grocery shopping stick to items that are on sale that week, use coupons when you can (some stores will even double the coupon savings, if so shop on those days to maximize savings), and if you must use your credit card to take advantage of these deals make sure you have enough money in your bank account to cover the purchase and pay it off right away.

·       Money in the Bank: There are a few ways to save money and you will never miss it. Start a new savings account and at the start of the year put $1 in the first week, $2 in for the second week, $3 for the third week and so on until you get to week 52 by the end of the year you will have saved $1,378. You can also start by not pulling out the coin purse to cover the change due for your transactions. Instead tuck it away in a piggy bank and at the end of the year take it to the bank and see how much change you were able to save.

There are other ways to save money throughout the year. Saving money on shopping and by starting a savings account will help you to be debt free as well. However there are other ways to pay more money down on your debts to get out of debt sooner.

·       Stop going to parties for one year. Tell all your friends and family that for one year only you are going to stop going to all birthday parties, baby showers, weddings, etc. Tell them your goals and I’m sure they will understand that this is important and let you get away with it (just don’t make it permanent because then you become a scrooge). My friends did this and were able to pay off their student loans in less than 10 years (and they had over $100,000 in loans).

·       Stop eating out or going out so much. Put a limit on how often you can go out and add a dollar amount to it as well. For example, when you have date nights don’t forget you may have to pay for a sitter too so start there. How much do you pay your sitter per hour or for the night and then from there put a dollar limit to your activities. Let’s face it date night can add up quickly and you can’t afford to do dinner and movie when you are in debt. Try doing dinner one month and then movie night another to break up the cost. And stop going to fast-food places all together; they are not healthy for you and expensive when you eat out all the time for lunch. Save money by taking leftovers or buying sandwich meat to make yourself a lunch.

·       Put the Credit Card away. Now back away slowly and forget about it. You can’t pay down your debt if you are still using credit lines. This goes for furniture purchases, etc. My husband and I make a list each month of the things we need and want. We number those things starting with the #1 thing we need/want the most and so on. At the end of 3 months we will take out the lists and look at them and if the same item has been in the number one spot the whole time then we would get it or if we had to save more to get it we would go to the next item on the list and continue to save.

·       Paycheck do’s and don’ts. A good way to save money is to designate a dollar amount you can afford to go to another account like a savings account rather than into your regular checking and make sure it I at a separate bank that is not easily accessed by you so that you are not tempted to take it out. You will never even notice it is gone and when you stumble upon that other account you might be surprised at how much is in there. You can also do your household budget for the bills you have, bills you need to save for like your water bill, car maintenance, or date night/fun night, and then take any excess money from there and put it in your savings account.

·       Get a part-time job. Yes I said it, another job! How awful of me. Getting another job can help you pay down that debt faster. Come on, suck it up! You can sacrifice for one year to be debt free. My husband works two jobs and we still find time to be together as a couple and spend quality time with the kids. It’s not as much as we’d like but at least we are on our way to being debt free.

·       Pay more than the minimum payment.  Instead of paying the minimum payment on your credit cards pay more. You will not only lower your balance faster but you will also pay less in interest fees. You don’t have to stop their either pay more on your mortgage or car payments too. When my husband and I went car shopping we stuck to a car that we could afford and then we didn’t wait until we got a bill to start paying. It is easier on our budget to pay bi-monthly on our major bills like the cars and mortgage so we have gotten to a point where we make those payments one month in advance to save us on the interest and pay it down quicker.

 I hope all of my suggestions have been helpful to you. Good luck with your resolutions let me know how you are doing. And remember the key to success of any plan is to WRITE IT DOWN ON PAPER. Happy New Year!!

A "Grinchy" Christmas

What is it with the Holiday's that makes everyone so crazy? Crazy Black Friday shoppers, outrageous sales events, advertisements everywhere, Elf-on-the-shelf, and most disgusting of all.... all the ANGRY people you come into contact with. So what do we do to bring it back down to what it actually is...CHRISTmas?
Christmas has always been my favorite Holiday. I love singing Christmas carols, going to Church, being with family, and eating all the yummy, delicious food. But now that I'm an adult, I still love the Holiday, but it's just not the same.
Somehow it went from enjoying time with family, eating good food, and opening presents to whiny kids who want everything in the toy store (and then play with them for only a month), grumpy and mean relatives (who just can't say enough about how much weight you've gained or the awful job/spouse/kids you have), the shopping (let's not even go there), and cooking/baking for hours on end (now that I'm an adult I have to also clean up all the "messes" I make when I'm done).

Now I'm not trying to be a Scrooge but Christmas has gotten so out of control that I find myself lately thinking The Grinch was right when he said: "I must stop this whole thing from coming.....but how?" How is the right word. How do we stop the madness?
How do I not get my kids presents and what the joy on their cute little faces as they open it and see  toy they've been wanting? (It's so exciting watching them shine with excitement).
How do I come up with excuses as to why I wont be going to the family get together for Christmas so I don't have to face my nasty family members?
How do I not make those wonderful treats we have to wait a whole year to inhale?
And finally, how do I tell all my friends and family that were are no longer participating in Christmas and get them to understand?

That's the scariest part, right?
I'm not fully ready for that last part yet (but I am getting close). Now that I'm an adult Christmas to me just means cranky people, bratty kids, and Credit Card debt.

So, again, how do we ween ourselves off of all the things we are "expected" to do around Christmas. My solution is to simply make old traditions seem like new traditions. Here's how you can bring back the joy of Christmas:

• Take the kids to Church on Sunday's more often so that they learn how to behave while there. (<-----something we really need to work on at my house).
• Start a Christmas caroling group. (Your kids will enjoy it too).
• Instead of doing all the "work" yourself making those yummy treats, have the whole family help. My kids love to help me make cookies and put sprinkles on everything. It keeps them busy (keeps Mommy sane) and then you have help with the dishes afterwards making clean-up time faster. 
  
• Cut back on the gifts you give and makes them more meaningful. For example, we use the number 6 rule: they get 2 presents they want, 2 presents of things they need, and 2 presents that will stimulate their mind or keep them active. We also put a dollar amount limit to each of these gifts too.Instead of giving gifts that no-one needs or they already have 3 of stuffed ion a closet somewhere, give them a gift card to their favorite grocery store. Everyone needs to eat! (And in most cases people have spent more money than they should have and could use the extra cash for some grub, that's more meaningful than another kitchen gadget or ugly sweater).
• When getting together with grumpy relatives choose to have a positive attitude before you leave the house and DON'T LET THEM GET TO YOU! I know, I know easier said than done. However, I read a quote on the wall of my Chiropractors wall that said: The greatest thing you can do for others is to reach down and lift them up. 
•  When decorating your house keep it simple. When I was a kid I loved making popcorn garland and loop chains to hang up around the house. Now I use old wrapping paper and put it on one wall and decorate it with all the Christmas cards I get, put out only my favorite decorations and deck the tree with ornaments my kids and I spent hours making (those are the best ones). If you want to see lots of Christmas lights make some hot chocolate to-go, pack all the kids in the car, blast the Christmas music (and sing along of course) and go drive around. There are plenty of other people in your neighborhood who have lights up and some even elaborate light displays.
  
• One great thing about the Holiday's is that it is also about Charity. Teach your kids the meaning of how to give and they may be less whiny and more caring toward others. Go help out at a soup kitchen for a couple of hours, give some of those baked goods you and the kids made to a charity bake sale, shovel your neighbors driveway, or donate some food to your local food pantry. The kids just like to hang out with their parents so anything you do with them they will enjoy (unless you have teenagers but they should still come with you no matter how much griping you get).
• Now onto the hardest part of all.....the shopping. I love a good Black Friday deal but I'm not going to kill anyone just to make sure I get it. When I go to the store I go for a few specific items and if I find them -- great, if not -- oh well on to Plan B. I try to not shop on Black Friday because of the madness but there are sometimes when I simply can't pass up on a deal. Otherwise I try to stick to shopping on other days that are less wild. As for Plan B, let me let you in on a little secret about Black Friday....they really are NOT the best deals of the season. The big box retailers only want you to think that, they sneak in the same deals or better ones here and there after Black Friday. You just have to keep an eye out. And instead of using your credit cards for making these purchases start a Holiday savings account or put $20 dollars aside each week and by the time Christmas comes around you'll have over $1000 (and you don't have to spend it all either).

 Scary as it may sound to cut back at Christmas I'm sure no-one is going to stone you for spending more quality time with your family and friends. I'm sure that if you explain what you are doing they will be more eager to join in rather than calling you a tight-wad. Once they see how much fun your having and the LASTING joy on your kids faces they will forget all about what present they did or didn't get this year. Bring Christmas traditions back to what they were, about Christ our Savior who was born unto us and about family! Make it count, don't make it add up!
Have a MERRY CHRISTMAS readers!